As a sales manager, I continually teach my salespeople that talking is not selling. Selling involves a very specific sequence of steps that are necessary in order to persuade someone to adapt the stance you wish them to take. In short I not too gently let them know that “talking ain’t selling.” No story I know explains the difference any better than the one below.
There once was a devout young man who entered the monastery to face the challenge of dedicated life of a monk. He was always anxious to please and followed the rules to the letter. Late one day during evening vespers in the garden he observed an older monk smoking his pipe during the period of quiet prayer. The young monk thought that such actions were frowned upon so he made mental note of the occurrence, yet said nothing to anyone.
As time passed the young monk routinely observed the older monk smoking his pipe during the evening prayer period. He noticed that the older monk was not an outcast but quite the opposite in the eyes of the monsignor. The younger monk had thought smoking during prayer would bring displeasure and it had in effect caused none whatsoever.
One day the younger monk accorded himself especially well in his studies and was congratulated privately after class by the monsignor himself. Gathering his courage he inquired as to whether he too might be able to smoke his pipe during his evening prayers. The response from the monsignor was instant, his mood changed immediately to very formal as he admonished the young monk for his insensitive request. Obviously embarrassed and feeling as if he totally reversed his favor with the monsignor the young monk apologized and went back to his studies.
That very evening the younger monk again observed the older monk smoking his pipe during evening prayer. After his humiliating experience earlier in the day he could not contain himself and confronted the older monk after the period of reflection. He asked the older monk just how he could get away with such an affront to the lord. He told the older monk about his conversation with the monsignor and the monsignor’s response. The older monk nodded his head, smiled broadly and then he said, “It’s all about how you said what you did. You see, you asked the Monsignor if the lord would mind if you smoked while you prayed. I too, made the request of the Monsignor many years ago, when I asked the monsignor if the lord would mind if I prayed while I smoked. How you say it makes all of the difference.”
